-in dedication of those who left us too early, of those who’s smiles we miss so dearly-

Boys don’t cry…
Nah they do and men do too.

“Stiffen up your upper lip…
be a man… don’t be a girl…
boys don’t cry…”

Imagine teaching boys not to have emotions and to feel vulnerable.

Imagine these same boys now as grown men, unable to express themselves emotionally after years of bottling up every pain and feeling inside of them.

I have the deepest empathy for the men that can’t feel properly, that can’t express themselves in healthy ways.

That don’t know that they can cry, that they can talk about their pains and anxieties.

No one deserves to do it all alone. And you don’t have to.

-this post was created to share resources, thoughts and tips to battle mental health-

-there’s no easy fix, no hacks. just patience, love and time-

Movember

Movember is the leading charity changing the face of men’s health. They raise money through the campaign of growing out your moustaches for the month of November.

Mo(ustache)-(no)Vember

Sounds like a classic dad joke, love it.

Over the last 18 years they've raised $1.3 billion for men’s health.

Their aim: By 2030, reduce the death of men by 25%.

On that, I’m growing out the mo and running 60kms for the month of November for the 60 men that commit suicide every hour.

Personal

My mother told me it was okay to cry.

I was balling my eyes out to a documentary of Jim Stynes dying from cancer and she consoled me.

She told me it meant I had a good heart, contrary to what I had been taught to believe.

I consider myself lucky to have my mother. But even then, I've grown up crying in the shower or by the steering wheel so my sisters wouldn’t hear me.

A pillar of strength I would try to be for them. Conditioned by the world to be strong and emotionless.

I want children today to learn how to be in touch with their emotions. I want them to feel fully, and deal with their anxieties and pains when they arise.

I need adults to understand that it’s not too late to ask for help, to work towards better mental health.

I’ve lost a friend, I’ve thought I was going to lose another.

I’ve had family and friends struggle to swim out of the current pulling them from the world.

You don’t have to do it alone.

Everyone has bad days, some worse than others, and sometimes they go for weeks and months.

But we all feel from one time to another that we are overwhelmed, anxious, sad, unhappy.

We all have to acknowledge it, work through it, and swim to shore.

And sometimes you need a lifesaver to help you paddle back - there’s absolutely no shame with getting lost in a current and needing support.

Sometimes we don’t know how to navigate the ocean of life.

9 Tips to Manage your Mental Health

-some might not help you, but one will, so try and test and find what works for you-

1. Talk to someone

It helps to express yourself and get your thoughts out of your head.

Whether it’s a close friend, a psychologist or your hairdresser (all 3 could be the same person), it helps to share your feelings, your thinking and your emotions.

Rather than the alternative which consists of bottling it all up.

Don’t be afraid to reach out to mates and never be discouraged about seeing a professional. We all deal with our own mentals, there’s nothing to be ashamed about when seeking support.

2. Find a hobby

Immerse yourself in it. Find something you enjoy that takes your mind off things and allows you to live solely in the present.

This could be painting, working out at the gym, reading, singing, piano, photography, writing a blog; anything that brings you peace and joy.

3. Meditation / Mindfulness

Taking the time to focus on your breathing, your mind, the present. You don’t need to be sitting on the floor with your legs crossed with candles circling your feet.

It can be as simple as you sitting in your car before work, taking deep breaths, acknowledging your thoughts and letting them float away.

Ten, five or even two minutes away from your thoughts can bring you back to what matters most.

4. Write shit down

Just like talking to someone, this is all about decluttering your mind. Putting your thoughts on the page, reducing the overwhelm you might be experiencing and allowing yourself to be free of the fog clouding your peace.

Do a brain dump, get it all on a page, two or more if you need. Get it all out there, burn it if it helps.

Things don’t look as intimidating as words on a sheet of paper.

5. Exercise

Go for a walk, run, swim, play basketball with your mates or with your earphones in. Go to gym and set yourself goals to work towards.

Be proud of yourself for it, get those small wins, lift that extra weight at the gym, run that little bit further.

Hold yourself accountable or get an accountability partner; you will work harder and be more motivated to accomplish your goals when someone else is involved.

Give yourself a big enough why - this month I’m running 60kms for the 60 men that commit suicide every hour.

I don’t run, ever, unless I’m late for the train.

But this is a big enough why, I’m doing it for something more than me.

Find your why.

6. Take a break

Take a day off work, a week if you need.

Go down the coast and soak up the sun, open up a book and drink a cup of tea, walk around a suburb you haven’t been in with your earphones blaring Frank Ocean.

Just take a break, rest up, eat well, drink water - a little bit of self care to get your body and mind back on track.

7. Surround yourself with positive people.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”

— Jim Rohn

It might not come as some surprise but the people that you spend your time with really shape the person that you become.

Surround yourself with love, support and people with goals and aspirations like yours.

If you spend your time with people spreading negativity, they will only hold you back and push you further down the wrong path.

If your friends or the workplace that you're in cause you suffering, then you need to cut them out of your lives. You need to work towards creating an environment that cultivates your growth.

And just like my mother, have people in your corner telling you it’s okay to feel the way you do. But don’t let it define you.

8. Go for a drive